Family and body shaming

This topic came into my mind when i met one of my aunt from extended family this rakhi. Since morning she was sharing her stories with other ladies of our family on how to lose weight,  how she lost weight and even  now its time everyone should lose weight and few inches from here and there. As she has lost 12 kg in two months. It should be inspiring not making other people target or conscious of their weight and flesh. This discussion raised few questions in my mind like, 

Why weight loss and beauty is such a hot topic among ladies?? Why cant we be satisfied and accepted by people as we are or what we have? 

And this further made me think that, families are the first and foremost one's who criticize us on the basis of our size, height, color, language since childhood. Then comes our friends teachers and colleagues. First, they build insecurities in our mind for our personality and physicality and then later in life they ask why you are like this? Why don't you love yourself? 

Seriously??? 

Instead of asking, i feel they should retrospect their past actions because,

They were the one who made me think like this. I was low on self confidence, self esteem because of them. First, they mocked me for my fat stomach, thighs and then  later in life ask why i don't love myself? I was never given a fair chance to love myself and treat my body the way it should have been.

Because of them i thought being plus size is a bad thing. Being dusty color is bad, I cant wear or eat few things because i am fat. I remember once my teacher told me "I can not stand in front row on stage because i am fat." 😑

I should apply besan and multani mutti on my  face so that  i can get 2 shades lighter skin ??? Seriously?? Why??

I love my skin color? And why u wanna change it?? 

 

Also we are been taught that I should  lose weight because boys wont like me or marry me, as marriage is the ultimate goal to be achieved ?? Right!?? 

 Even boys are being taught that if you wont listen to us ( as in parents ) then u will get fat and brown color skin girl in future ? Even given a reference as Ugly bride or groom ? 

 People will laugh at you...

 And i can assure you people do laugh..😐

 

Why we treat  big size and dusty  color as a punishment? It is like a sin have committed  to be born like this ? Is it Really ???

And when person loses his/her mind over this senseless remarks you ask them to love yourself??? Really how can one love himself/ herself when for a such long period of time  we were been body shamed? 

what i feel  now is that answer to all the questions is in the Perspective. People themselves are so insecure and ill- treated that they cant see other people's good traits and just to hide their ill minds they try to find flaws and  mock people on things which are perfect.

 

Bad habits die hard, this is the perfect example that being in this journey for past 5 months still these things effects me and i get upset.

But i know good habits takes time to build and eventually with time and patience it will happen.

This journey to love your own body is not easy nor linear. Chain of thoughts and this events has to be faced and broken everyday.

As i am in this journey i learned few things & One of them  is to forgive yourself for being rude to yourself. One has to be compassionate and patient towards the idea of loving yourself. As loving one skin, size is the only best gift your can give it yourself.

And Secondly, forgiving the family, friends, and rest of the world for not understanding  you. It's their perspective that need to be changed not ME.

THIS IS HOW I SEE MYSELF

THIS IS DEEPIKA 

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DeePika 😃🌼💕

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